Broken Windows & Neighborhoods

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Hazy Thoughts, Ever Obscure

So, before I get carried away with the events that have taken place in the last couple of days, I will report on last weekend. I finally had a chance to spend some time with my dad and we went and saw "Insurgent." I never saw "Divergent" and never read the books, so I knew nothing about the plot; Still, the acting was great and the film was very well made. Honestly, just being able to spend time with my dad made the movie enjoyable to watch. I can't really recall what we did afterwards but, it was a nice night. On the 27th, I took some time for myself in the evening to get lost in my thoughts and try to clear my head by taking a walk in the cool air. Unfortunately, with the depth of subjects I had on my mind, this was fairly ineffective. Luckily, I have incredibly fun friends that help me take my mind off of anything that's bothering me! That night I jammed out to great music with a friend on the way to the movie theater (once again) to see "Get Hard." It was by far the funniest movie I had seen all year! Throughout the entire film we both could not stop laughing! Although, I feel like I found it much more entertaining than my friend did. Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell were great together! We drove to Steak n' Shake once it ended and stayed and talked for quite a while. It might just be my paranoia but, there was a man and his friend (possibly father, maybe a coworker..) sitting diagonally across from us and every now and then the older one would turn and look at me, then smile at his friend. I didn't want to assume anything but, I felt like he was judging us either due to the difference in ethnicity, the topic of our conversation or even a combination of the two. Again, I could have been reading more into than situation than I should have... He drove me back to my house next, asking me many questions about who I was dating, what I looked for in a guy, etc. You see where this is going, right? The thing is, he has a lot of great qualities, I just can't get over one thing. I don't want to state what the issue is I have a problem with, because it will make me sound really shallow. Before I got out, he asked if he could kiss me and I hesitantly said yes because I was kind of put on the spot. It would have been smarter to decline until I had my thoughts in order but, the past can't be changed. My thoughts are still hazy even though I did finally meet the one I always had on my mind!  (To be continued..)

Balancing Emotion

Good morning (afternoon, evening) all you beautiful people! 
I would like to continue on from where I left us earlier today, shifting now to things going on in my personal life. I have a small group of friends that I see every day to having a class together and every Friday we get together to cook and watch 'Game of Thrones.' Spending time with them always puts me in a great mood and relaxes my mind. Just the other day I had the rare opportunity to go out and grab coffee with two of them at Fortezza. The cafe had very simple decor but it was, for lack of a better term, elegantly simplistic. The amount of space, the layout and the utilization of cool colors created an atmosphere that was both calming and comfortable. On top of that, the prices were reasonable and the weather yesterday was gorgeous! I ordered the Matcha latte and salted brownie and I was very impressed by the barista's artistic skills! By the way, the sweetness of the brownie and the lightness of the green tea flavor compliment each other well. Once we had finished here, we took advantage of the pleasant weather and spent a few minutes walking around downtown and locating restaurants we would be frequenting in the near future. The point that I am building up to and failing to express is that I love my friends and I want to have as many true friends as possible. Recently, I have made a lot of foreign male 'friends.' The reason I put friends in quotations is because nearly all of the individuals in this group seem to have no interest in being 'just friends.' One of my friends has an amazing personality and spending time with him really makes me happy. The problem is that certain factors and feelings I have for others is keeping me from wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with this person. For a while, I have been communicating by text (or rather, photo message) with a foreign guy and I can't explain why I have formed such strong feelings for them. It doesn't make good sense to form an opinion of someone's personality based on messages and pictures alone. Nonetheless, this is what I have done. Every time I receive a message from them, I can't help but smile just knowing that I'm on their mind. The sad thing is that we haven't met once and I found out that in as shortly as a few months he will be moving hundreds of miles away to attend college.. Am I stupid for wanting him to stay even though I don't know anything about him? Should I even attempt to form a relationship with him when I know he's leaving? I don't claim to have tons of wisdom when it comes to love; I need all the advice I can get.

Constant Positivity through Stressful Times

Alright, I'm not one to try and rush through the days but, there is so much going on in the upcoming months! Attending university full time and working part time, the amount of energy I had before has drastically decreased. Of course, you might make a statement like "Education comes first" or "If your grades are suffering, you need to work less or not at all." Well, that's easier said than done. While all the work I constantly drag through prevents me from having much free time, when I am lucky to have a day off to spend with friends, I need the money. If I decided to work any less than I currently am (fifteen hours a week) I would barely have money for gas, any groceries I want or going out with friends. I'm content with my job, I would just like to know when America is going to catch up with some of our European counterparts and raise our minimum wage to a livable amount. I digress... This semester of college compared to the first has been pure insanity! I generally enjoy most of the courses I'm enrolled in and I began the semester with a very driven attitude. I was so interested with psychology in the beginning that I even considered minoring in this field. However, as the months have passed my performance on the exams has been steadily declining and I don't find the class very interesting anymore. Although I didn't expect it, my Peace and Conflict Studies course has come to be my favorite of the five ( Honestly, I only enrolled in it for the International Certificate). There are a wide array of topics to grasp and a lot of deep thinking and analyzing in the course but, everything I have read and watched on this subject has helped me better understand myself and those around me. Who knows, I may decide to minor in this specific field or another that is closely related. Right now I have to focus on two group projects, two skits, and one essay for philosophy that I am dreading starting to write! Don't worry, I will spare you my rant about my philosophy course for now.. There is much more on my mind that I wish to express yet, for now, I will bid you goodnight and send only peaceful thoughts. 

 I am always striving to be a more peaceful person and lead a more peaceful life but, when I hear about all the selfish and ignorant issues going on in the news, it's hard for me to understand where people are coming from. In regards to the 28-year-old co-pilot who murdered all of those innocent people by crashing the plane into the French Alps, my heart hurts when I hear about and see news like this. They say that the co-pilot hid the fact that he was battling depression and I feel like a lot more needs to be done when they are screening individuals hoping to go into this field. I personally believe no one with any psychological condition should be allowed to go into this career. Because he chose to hide important information hundreds of relatives and friends of the passengers now have to worry about funeral arrangements rather than enjoying their day as they should; laughing, playing, spending time with loved ones.., etc. It also angers me that is acceptable to pass a bill (referring to the one passed in Indiana) allowing discrimination against anyone and everyone! I won't voice all of my feelings until I read more about it, however, most of my friends are international and come from various different backgrounds and have many different beliefs and traditions. They are amazing, caring people and if anyone denied them the right of something based simply on their race or beliefs, I would stand up for them with every fiber of my being! Please, please keep an open-mind and don't shut out ideas that are different from your own. Trust me, that will get you nowhere in life and it is no way to live!